10 Movies the World Would be Better Without

This is a list I wrote for my day job, before I realized I had read the subject incorrectly! I wrote the correct article for them today. Since they won't be using this article, I decided to share it here for everyone to enjoy.

Water World

The premise to "Water World" isn't a bad one, and was somewhat visionary for 1986. Global warming has raised the level of water on Earth so high that mankind must live on a planet with little land. "Water World" left many viewers wishing they had seen something else instead.

"Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

It's a good thing that Star Wars fans already loved the original trilogy. Otherwise, "The Phantom Menace" might have killed the film franchise entirely. There's a reason fans came up with a new way to watch the films, called "Machete Order." You watch episodes IV and V, then II and III as a flashback, the VI for the conclusion, skipping I completely. Nothing that happens in Episode I is really important to the rest of the story. The addition of midichlorians, senate hearings, and worst of all, Jar Jar Binks, makes this film a must-skip.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

"Superman III" had already jumped the shark by having Richard Prior co-star, and by using audio effects from Atari Pac Man. Yet somehow, "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace" was even worse. The effects were even worse than in the previous film. Since Superman's goal was to rid the Earth of nuclear weapons, of course he has to face an idiotic super villain called Nuclear Man. If this film hadn't been made, the Superman franchise might have come back sooner, and stronger.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The "Indiana Jones" franchise definitely deserved a fourth movie. Unfortunately, it got "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." If only Spielberg realized that aliens do not belong in an Indiana Jones film. Bringing Indy and Marion together was great. The rest of the film, not so much.

Batman and Robin

Audiences loved the first two Batman movies by Tim Burton. Sure, they were campy, but also edgy, and the danger felt real. The third film certainly went down hill, but it was the final installment, "Batman and Robin," that killed the Batman franchise until rebooted by Christopher Nolan. Bad casting, worse puns, and a camp factor that was way overblown make this a film that should never have seen the silver screen.

Dude, Where's My Car?

Ashton Kutcher can act. Seann William Scott can act. One has to wonder if that's what they were doing in "Dude, Where's My Car?" As Cheech and Chong showed years ago, stoner comedies can be hilarious. The main characters wake up from a drug-fueled sleep only to not know where the car is. "The Hangover," years later, would handle the premise much better.

The Hangover III

"The Hangover" was a funny, over-the-top movie about friends who wake up the night after a bachelor party with no memory of the day before, and have to trace back their steps to find out what happened. The exact same premise was repeated in "The Hangover II" to shaky results. "The Hangover III" was just one too many. Here's a hint to the movie makers: Decapitated giraffes aren't funny.

Highlander 2: The Quickening

It's anyone's guess how tis abomination of a sequel has a 3.9 out of 10 rating on IMDB. Rotten Tomatoes doesn't even have a proper page for this disaster. To put it bluntly, "Highlander 2: The Quickening" crapped on all the fans who loved "Highlander." It contradicted critical background from the first movie, turning the immortals born of humans on Earth into aliens who had come to Earth to do battle over centuries. The humor doesn't just fall flat. It's painfully stupid. Shame on Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery for reprising their roles in this one.

Freddy Got Fingered

Tom Green is a jackass, and not in the sort-of-funny "Jackass" movie way. The humor, perhaps meant to be slapstick, is just weird and creepy. Swinging a newborn around by its umbilical cord and hitting the legs of a girl in a wheelchair with a club are disturbing, not funny. Green should have spared the world and never made this film

Battlefield Earth

"Battlefield Earth" is based on the hack writing of L. Ron Hubbard, who couldn't make it as a science fiction writer until he made up his own religion, Scientology. An adherent of that out-of-this-world belief system, John Travolta was determined to turn Hubbard's work into a film. Bad filming, bad acting, and a terrible story made this film what it deserved to be: a flop. At least the world was never subjected to a sequel.

Why I Love Costco

Costco is a terrific warehouse store.  Membership is easy to afford, prices are low, and it has technical support on, and extended warranties for, all the electronics they sell.  One time, because of an issue with the Costco tire shop, the company gave me a free replacement tire and comped my membership for one year.

I have a pretty nice looking frame for my glasses.  One of the arms came off, though, just fell right off, so I took them to Costco to see if the optical department could screw it back on.

Since part had actually broken, the young woman in that department found a matching set of arms that fit, replaced the old ones, and made sure the glasses would sit evenly on my face.  The bonus: These are Ray Ban arms.  So, now, it looks like I have these really expensive frames.

Complicating Creed

I know how Bodacious Creed died!

No spoilers, though.  No way.  Check out the latest Bodacious Creed blog entry, or the Bodacious Creed website, for more!

Finally, an Update!

No way, that can't be.  The last update I wrote here was on July 28?  Well, we've got some catching up to do!

Maybe it doesn't feel like almost two months because of all I have done.  I've written numerous updates to my Kickstarter project, a lot of background, character, and plot work for Bodacious Creed, made the Boadacious Creed site live, wrote an article about my Kickstarter project, and started a short story.  Plus, I work as an editor and a writer, so there's that.

Let me expand on the information above.  

Bodacious Success: Funding My Kickstarter Novel Project, is available in the Amazon Kindle store.  And don't worry if you don't have a Kindle.  There are Kindle readers for Windows, Mac, iOS, and Android.  I read my Kindle books on my Barnes & Noble Nook! This ebook essay covers how I came up with the idea for my Kickstarter project, and how I marketed it to success.  I hope it helps other Kickstarters with their projects.

Going back a bit, on August 9, the finding period for Bodacious Creed: A Steampunk Zombie Western ended, bringing in $2,325 of the $2,000 I needed.  Since then, I've been rounding out the characters, filling in the back story, and plotting.  I've incorporated the characters that high level backers named or created as well, and finding that they fit the story very well.  I plan on writing the first draft during the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge in November.

The Bodacious Creed site is live!  I wouldn't call it complete.  There are still sections awaiting content, but all information I'm willing to make available to the public right now is there.  (Which reminds me... now that Bodacious Success is done, I need to put it in the Bodacious Creed store.)  I used a wonderful template from Wix and updated the graphics with my own.  Check out the steampunk goggle section separators.

The short story mentioned takes place a few months before the events in the novel.  This background story features the brothel madam Anna Boyd, and also a new character, named by one of my backers.  Now that I've finished the Kickstarter article, I'm going to get the story done.

Remember, Bodacious Creed started as my 3D modeling thesis work.  In that spirit, and because I need to keep improving my modeling skills so that I can stay competitive in that field, I am now creating one highly detailed, sculpted model per month, and I'm starting with characters and themes from the Creedverse.  I'll share those here and on both my websites.

Kindle on Nook

I'm writing this entry because I looked for this answer recently, and couldn't find what I needed.  Can you read Kindle books on a Nook?  Well, online information I found said, "No."

Those sites, thankfully, are wrong!

The Nook HD+, which is the top of the line Nook tablet and e-reader, comes with Google Play, which means that users can install Google Play apps.

So, if you have an Nook HD+, make sure the firmware and software are updated to the latest versions.  Then open Google Play, and click the Apps button.  From there, you can search for Kindle, and the Amazon Kindle app will come right up.

I frequent Barnes & Noble often, and really like the Nook HD+.  Also, they've been on sale for a huge discount lately.  My parents got me one for my birthday (thanks Mom and Dad!).  I had heard that there was a Kindle app for Nook from a friend, and since I already have a ton of Kindle books, I was excited about that feature.

I didn't guess the Google Play angle myself.  My friend told me to check there, so thank you, Crystal!  Now I can read everything in my large Kindle library, as well as my new Nook titles.

An Actual Personal Blog

I don't usually get too personal in my blog entries.  Usually they're about my artistic projects, or maybe about my art techniques.  You a find a lot of the latter in my Bodacious Creed blog from when I was working on my thesis.  I often came up with my own techniques in Maya and Zbrush, and shared these so that other 3D artists could try them out.

I feel like writing about a few semi-personal things today, and about what I've been up to.

Like a lot of Americans, I'm overweight.  There's a lot of information, and misinformation, about being overweight out there.  It's really tough to sort through it all.  I've been wanting to lose weight for years.  At one point, I was on Atkins for a few months, and lost about forty pounds!  Then I went off it, and of course gained all that weight back.  Well, not all of it.  I'm still fifteen to twenty pounds lighter than I was when I went on it, and about forty pounds lighter than I was at my very heaviest.

I don't remember where I read this, but I think it was in Cracked.  Basically, it said that studies have been done more or less debunking the idea that thinner people have better metabolisms than heavier people.  There are times when this is true, especially with thyroid problems.  But the studies indicated that for the most part, it's simpler than that.  Heavy people just eat more.

And I immediately thought about how my eating habits haven't changed that much since I was a teen.  Back then, I was growing, and I was active.  I could eat a lot of food.  Well, here I am in my early forties, and I feel stuffed if I eat a lot, yet I was still eating too much.

I've had a lot of moments of clarity in my life, and often they're about things that should be obvious.  So, I had this moment of clarity where I thought to myself, "You mean, if I just cut down my portions, I should lose weight?"  So yep.  I haven't changed my diet much recently.  I'm just eating smaller portions.  I've been getting a bit hungry at night, but instead of getting up for a bite, I just wait it out.  My body realizes it's time to sleep, suppresses my appetite, and I'm fine.

I'm letting my stomach shrink to a reasonable size, and just eating less.  I feel better this way, too.  I'm not getting tired in the middle of the day.  I'm not even getting that hungry.  Over the long term, hopefully this will get me down to a reasonable, healthy weight.

In about ten minutes, I'm supposed to be interviewed for a newspaper story about my Kickstarter project, "Bodacious Creed: A Steampunk Zombie Western!"  Exciting!

The other day, I added a prize to the $5 and up levels: a write-up of how I conducted my Kickstarter publicity.  The reason is that, while there's helpful information online, it could be better.  I learned a lot from a book called The Kickstarter Handbook, but of course the specifics of any campaign are unique.  That's an excellent book, by the way.  And, I figured that some of my backers might one day want to create projects of their own.

That's it for now!

Bodacious Creed: A Steampunk Zombie Western was just covered on Leonardoverse, an excellent and popular steampunk blog!

I also posted a project update, which all project backers get in their email, and anyone can read on the Bodacious Creed Kickstarter page.

Here's the text of that update:

Howdy, my fellow travelers on this exciting journey into the world of Bodacious Creed!

"Bodacious Creed: A Steampunk Zombie Western" is currently featured on Leonardoverse, a popular and excellent steampunk blog by author Leonardo Ramirez.  Have a look, and also browse his blog!  Leonardo wrote a wonderful entry about my project, and I'm proud to have it featured there.

It has also been featured on many Facebook pages.  Have a look at the Bodacious Creed Facebook page for more information.

I've also been contacting newspapers and periodicals.  Yesterday, I sent press releases to a few Orange County papers, and one to Watsonville's Register Pajaronian.  I grew up on Watsonville, California, and, way back when, took Creative Writing at Watsonville High.  I hope they all pick up the story.

This message is getting a little long, so I'll end with this.  Thank you, all of my bakers, and everyone who has shared this project!  Thanks to you, we're at 21% funded already!  Please help keep the momentum going by sharing this on Facebook, and Twitter, and letting anyone who might be into a steampunk zombie western know that this exists.  Your support means the world to me!

Feel free to check the Kickstarter page often for updates.  Of course, if you pledge, even as little as $1, you will also get the updates in your email.

I'm also excited to report that the project has been live for not quite 3 days, is 21% funded, and has 14 backers. The video has been seen 112 times, and the most popular reward is the $10 level, from which backers get a digital copy of the book when it's published, a high resolution jpeg of the cover, and a pdf copy of my first novel, Children of Rhatlan, whether the project gets funded or not.  I've made sure that all the rewards are worthwhile, so have a look.